Out of the Blue.

The Boy came to visit for the past couple of nights. He’s now laid off for the winter and working on his book, so instead of waiting until the weekend, he came down and stayed during the week. This morning we went to grab coffee before work, and he headed back home. A half hour later, he called.

“Well hello, gorgeous. I just called to tell you how beautiful you are, and how lucky I am that I met you three months ago, and that you are in my life,” he told me.

“What did you do?” I joked, as I really didn’t know how to respond to that, and my ability to take compliments is severely disabled.

“Funny, funny. No, I’m serious. I just wanted to tell you that. I drove by that house you were looking at buying last month, and I just couldn’t help but think of how much fun we would have had if things had worked out with it. And how I hope we can one day do that.”

Well now, isn’t he sweet?

 

TransWorld Expedition.

I was perusing MSN yesterday when I came across Nicolas Rapp’s blog, in which he is leaving for an adventure in a few days.

The adventure? To drive around the world.

He leaves November 15, has his itinerary mapped out, purchased and upgraded a Toyota Land Cruiser, and expects to be gone one year.

Seriously, Nick’s journey sounds amazing.

Take a look. I’m definitely excited to follow his adventure!

http://transworldexpedition.com/

 

The Vote Is In.

Mainers repealed the law which allowed same-sex couples to marry.  Apparently this has never been passed through a box ballot vote, and in the states where it is acceptable to marry a person of the same sex, those laws were passed through legislative action.

Does that make me a hypocrite to secretly be relieved that this did not pass, even though I voted No, for it to stay as law, and allow people of the same sex to marry?

I agree with equality, and it is a shame that they do not have the same rights that married couples do, but I do believe that the word marriage is a sacred term, and should be reserved for a man and a woman.

I think that’s a big part of why this law was repealed – I don’t believe a lot of people are against gay people, but rather, of what they are asking. If this referendum was to ask for civil unions to be allowed, and that a civil union would have all the same benefits of a marriage, then I believe it would have passed, by a huge margin.

But they are asking for something that is religious, something that goes back thousands of years, and asking us to change our beliefs.

I voted ‘no’ for equality, for the fact that we had already had that law passed, and to take it back would be shameful. But I do believe in the sanctity of marriage, and for this, I am somewhat relieved that it didn’t pass.

What are your thoughts? Really, I’m interested in a civil debate, curious as to how other parts of the country/world think in regards to referendums like this.

How would you vote if this was on your ballot?

 

Weddings

My friend Jess got married in North Carolina a few weeks ago, remember this particularly cranky post about my trip down there?

Well, she just got her photographs back from the guy they hired, and they are beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous.

Take a look: http://kmiblog.com/2009/10/jessica-richbald-head-island-n.html

 

Voting Day

A little bit of politics today. I’ve also added in an article from NPR giving a little more info.

–

Question 1: People’s Veto

An act to end discrimination in Civil Marriage and affirm religious freedeom.

“Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?”

–

I do not know how to vote on this. Having grown up as a Catholic, in a family that went to church every Sunday, went to Sunday School, and said grace before dinner and our prayers before bed, I was raised that marriage is between a man and a woman. And I think that’s how it should be.

On the other hand, I have absolutely nothing against people who are gay or lesbian. I think we should all have equal rights, and right now, they do not have that. For people who are in a partnership, they do not have the same rights that married couples do. If one partner were to die, they have much higher hoops to jump through. If one of them gets sick, from my understanding, it’s hard to get insurance for your partner. I have gay friends, and I have watched them go through these very issues.

I am inclined to vote “No on 1″, which is to keep the law that was passed earlier this year. I feel like it would be unfair of us to take something away that people have worked so hard to gain. Although, The Boy believes it was passed unfairly, as do a lot of Mainers, which is why I fear it will be repealed. This was on our ballot last November, and it was not passed. A lot of Mainers feel that the governor passed this without the approval of the people, and passed through legislative action.

I wish that we could call it a civil union. And with this, they would get the same benefits that married couples do, except the term ‘marriage’ could still hold religious meaning.

But still – I am inclined to vote No on this, even though I wish they had done this differently, I feel that it is unfair to take away rights that they have already been given (although which have not taken hold yet, as opposition was so large).

Another reason, silly, I know, but when California turned down Prop 8, I thought it was insensitive and cruel. Indian givers. I don’t want Maine to be looked at like that.

—

The Nation: Marriage In Maine In Dead Heat

by DANIEL CHANDLER of NPR

November 3, 2009

Today, November 3, the people of Maine will decide whether to keep a law, passed just six months ago, that made Maine the fifth state (of six) to legalize gay marriage. Polls are predicting a nail-biting finish, with the most recent showing those in favor of repeal ahead by 51 to 47 percent, effectively a tie (the poll has a 2.9 percent margin of error). With early voting already underway, both sides are ramping up their campaigns to reach out to Maine’s voters and to ensure strong turnouts in this unusually intense off-year campaign.

A victory for the “No on 1″ campaign would be the nation’s first popular vote in support of gay marriage. It would build on momentum from a string of important victories in Vermont, Iowa and New Hampshire earlier this year. It would put an end to more than thirty consecutive defeats of marriage equality at the ballot box — including California’s Proposition 8 one year ago — as states across the country have passed constitutional amendments defining marriage as between one man and one woman. (A 2006 vote in Arizona which rejected such a constitutional amendment is the only exception, but that was followed by a 2008 measure banning gay marriage which passed by a comfortable margin.) A defeat on Tuesday would be a major blow, reinforcing the argument that gay marriage has been won only through the actions of “liberal elites” in state courts and legislatures.

While Tuesday’s vote is clearly of national significance, the campaigns run by both sides in Maine have kept their message local. Maine’s Governor John Baldacci, who opposed gay marriage before changing his mind and signing the bill in May, has since then thrown his weight behind the campaign to keep the new law. He insists to the New York Times that this is not a national issue, or about gay rights in general, but is “Maine-specific.” Supporters of the law “don’t mind being part of a national address on this issue,” he told me, but they “are going through this because there are Maine individuals and families that would be negatively impacted if we didn’t provide equal protection under the constitution.” Whether or not Maine’s LGBT community is so narrowly focused on state issues, this message may prove critical in winning the support of undecided voters.

Baldacci points to public hearings held by the state legislature in April this year as a pivotal moment, not only for himself, but for the broader debate in Maine. The hearings, attended by an unprecedented crowd of 3-4,000 people, an estimated three-quarters of whom wore red shirts to show their support for marriage equality, included powerful testimonies in support of gay marriage from a wide range of people: rural farming families, World War II veterans and children from LBGT families. (One especially moving testimony, from an 86-year-old World War II veteran and lifelong Mainer Philip Spooner, has since received over half a million hits on YouTube.) Baldacci, a lifelong Mainer, described the testimony as “completely remarkable…unique and different than anything I have experienced in my history in this state.” It was “really a baring of the soul” and “people in Maine…realized that we’re not talking about people in California or Washington, we’re talking about people here in Maine.”

“Maine people getting up and telling their stories” had a huge impact on legislators,” says Mark Sullivan, communications director for the No on 1/Protect Maine Equality campaign. Baldacci hopes that other Mainers have “gone through the same process that I have,” and insists that “it has been a real growing process for us all…regardless of the outcome.”

Faith Moritz and Janet Jones, who have been together for almost twenty-four years and have two 6-year old children named Benjamin and Lucy, found the hearings “empowering” just because “we were being listened to.” For Stephen Ryan and Jim Bishop, who have been together for thirty-four years, and who testified, the hearings were a “bittersweet” experience. On the one hand, the “hurtful, untruthful, filthy testimony” of opponents of the legislation brought them back to the terrible things the kids would say to one another during their school days forty years ago. But they saw with their own eyes the impact “one story after another of how not being able to marry had hurt a family, a child or…a surviving partner” was having on legislators, who for the first time appreciated that the demand for gay marriage was not an “infantile want” but a plea for crucial legal protections.

For both couples the absence of the legal and financial protections of marriage is a constant source of concern. Faith and Janet carry around a stack of papers documenting their adoption rights and medical powers of attorney. Stephen and Jim worry about getting old, about whether nursing homes would honor their wishes “to be together until the very end,” and whether the property management business they have spent a lifetime building together would be hit by an inheritance tax, from which married couples are exempt, should one of them die. The implications are emotional too: Faith wonders whether, despite being in a deeply committed relationship, marriage would take their relationship to “a whole other level that we’ve never had the chance to experience.”

While the Protect Maine Equality campaign has echoed the optimism of families like Faith and Janet, appealing to “Maine values” of family, fairness and equality, Stand for Marriage Maine has opted for an ominous message, borrowing heavily from the tactics and strategists used in the Prop 8 campaign. The company managing strategy and media for pro-repeal Maine groups is Schubert Flint Public Affairs, the Sacramento-based company that managed the the California campaign against gay marriage. As in California, their ads play on fears that legalizing gay marriage will lead to homosexuality being taught in schools. They warn of such dire consequences as “gay-friendly books in day care facilities.” “Don’t be fooled,” one ad concludes, “Gay marriage will be taught in Maine schools unless we vote Yes on Question 1.”

When it comes to funding, the National Organization for Marriage, a conservative Christian group at the forefront of battles against gay marriage in other states, has provided more than half of the $2.5 million raised by Stand for Marriage Maine. While the Mormon Church has played a far smaller role than it did in California, the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland has provided over half-a-million dollars. Despite these large donations, the campaign to repeal has been significantly out-funded by Protect Maine Equality, which has raised over $4 million. Campaign manager Jessee Connolly reported more than 22,000 donations, as opposed to 710 donations that came in to Stand for Marriage Maine. Protect Maine Equality has used this funding to create a sophisticated grassroots campaign, with over 8,000 volunteers, five regional offices and several major phone banks. They have already made hundreds of thousands of phone calls, and expect to make 300,000 more in the final six days of the campaign — all in a state whose population, at 1.3 million, is roughly the same as that of San Diego.

Despite the apparent superiority of Protect Maine Equality’s organization, Tuesday’s result remains far too close to call. The last few days of campaigning will be crucial as remaining undecided voters take up a position. Even more important will be the “get-out-the-vote” efforts on Tuesday, with supporters of same-sex marriage counting on younger voters and college students, and opponents hoping proposals to cut taxes will bring out older, more conservative voters. Governor Baldacci is hopeful, if not confident: “History shines a light on you once every so often. We have an opportunity as individuals to do the right thing.”

 

 

 

NaBloPoMo

NaBloPoMo happens once a month, every month. It’s only really in November in which I like to participate. And looky looky – I’m already crap, as I had forgotten to post yesterday!

So, in honor of NaBloPoMo, I’m going to try to post daily, will more likely be daily during the work week, and maybe a sporadic post over the weekends.

–

To celebrate the lovely 50+ degree weather yesterday, and most likely last beautiful day of the year, The Boy and I took a ride down to one of the capes around where we live, and cruised around one of the isles. Some pictures to tide you all lovely folks over! Happy Monday everyone!

The Boy & Charlotte on the beach.

 

Not Fair.

I’m frustrated.

Severely frustrated with my job. I am typically made to feel like I am shit at what I do (by my boss only, as The Emperor makes me feel like I am a fairly competent person).

One minute I am being made to feel like I am an idiot. Like architecture isn’t for me. Well, it’s not for women is the real issue, I believe. The next minute, I am being told that I should know how to do that, being a graduate architect and all. Well, if it’s been three years since I’ve  used that small skill that I learned in college, then I might need refreshing.

At the same time, he is always telling me I need to just ask when I don’t know something, as opposed to wasting the time to look it up for myself (and, also, to understand it for myself instead of him telling me). But he is always yelling that I waste too much time, so then of course I’m just going to go to him to size a beam instead of get yelled at for taking too much time to figure it out for myself! But then, I get the talk that I should know how to do that! How am I supposed to know how to do that when you always yell at me if I take a little longer to figure it out for myself?!

It’s a double edged sword that I am constantly dodging. Do I do this and chance getting yelled at, or do I do this and know I will get yelled at. Either way, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll get snapped at.

I’m just tired of it. When The Emperor started his own firm last spring, I had hopes that my relationship with my boss would change. That he might take me seriously, might see that I’m actually fairly decent at what I do. The Emperor sees this, so how does my boss not? The Emperor created a very nice environment to work in, once where you can learn, figure it out on your own, make mistakes, and not get yelled at for them. My boss? Not so much.

It worked for a little bit, with my impressing him for a few weeks, and then everything went back to normal. Normal being getting snapped at daily.

Apparently I am supposed to know everything, but being a woman, I am a shit designer. God forbid I go get coffee though, then he’s singing my praises. Photocopies? I’m amazing. Booklets? Fabulous. Designing a house? What? You’re a woman. Women aren’t supposed to be in this field. You have no idea how to do this.

Yes. This is how I truly feel. Because if I was shit at what I do, then I’d be shit at everything. I wouldn’t be good at photocopies, or fixing his computer when he has issues, or getting lunch for clients. No, it’s the fact that I am in what used to be a male-dominated field, and he’s old school.

And that? That’s not fair.

 

Emergency Rooms & Possibilities.

We spent the weekend in the ER Vet, as we came home Friday night from a night out with friends to a dog that was coughing up blood and drooling uncontrollably.

I tried to get her off of the couch, when she suddenly spit up a little blood, and she scampered down and hid her face under the hutch. As I pulled her out from under the hutch to get her to the car, she threw up a whole chunk of bloody mess, and we wrapped her in a towel and drove her to the emergency room. Luckily the next town over has an emergency clinic open all weekend, with vets there from the time the offices close on Friday until Monday morning.

We got her into the office, and it being a little past two a.m. at this point, the place was empty. The vet looked her over, as more blood came up, and she told us that she would put her on oxygen and IV meds. She also warned us that if this treatment did not work, then we might have to prepare ourselves to put her down, as we don’t have the money to take her to specialists, costing us thousands of dollars.

We both cleaned out our bank accounts to cover the cost of the weekend, and even had to ask for help from his mother. Both his mother and grandmother offered up blank checks, telling us to do whatever we had to do to make her better. “She’s part of the family, so get whatever she needs,” they told us. It was very kind of them.

Charlotte stayed there all day Saturday, and we went to visit on Saturday night, checking in and seeing what else they had to do. They took her off of the oxygen and were giving her oral meds to see if they could clear up more of the fluid in her lungs (which is also where the blood was coming from).

She stayed Saturday night, and she was cleared to go home by Sunday afternoon. Come to find out, she has a mega-esophagus, which, when she eats, her food regurgitates and comes back up, although she doesn’t spit it out, she must try to swallow it again, and it results in her aspirating, and putting more liquid back into her lungs at every meal. Thus, the pneumonia, which we’ve been treating, is not going away.

We’ve got some things we need to try with her while she eats, but if these don’t work, we’re going to have to consider surgery. That’s going to be costly.

–

On another note, The Boy is getting sick of the employment prospects where he lives, which is zilch. He’s frustrated with never having any money, and finally getting a leg up, to then have to pay over $600 in vet bills over one weekend. We watched The Proposal Saturday night after we got back from the vet, and he mentioned how he’d love to be a cop in Alaska. He mentioned the new show about the Alaska State Troopers, and after I went to bed that night, he did a search for openings.

“Wake up! Wake up!” He cried, shaking me out of a dead sleep.

“Whaaa?” I said, groggy and wanting to close my eyes again.

“They have openings for cops in three cities in Alaska! They’re hiring!” He told me, the excitement very visible in his voice.

“So apply,” I suggested. “If you’re really that interested in it, apply. What can it hurt? If you decide you don’t want to go, no harm done. But if you decide you do want to go and you get a job offer, then it might be a good thing.”

He spent the next hour looking to see how much plane tickets would cost for us to go out if he was offered an interview.

The next morning, I broached the subject again. “How serious are you, in wanting to take a job out there? I would move out there in a heartbeat, you know that, so if you aren’t serious about this, then stop talking about it. If you are serious, then let’s talk about this more. But until you decide, I don’t want to hear about it. I can’t get my hopes up for you to change your mind.”

This morning I asked him about it again, as my situation with my job is not as stable as I was pretending it was. I guess I held out hope for the best, but things aren’t looking so good.

“So, have you thought more about Alaska?” I asked this morning.

“Actually, I was doing some research on cost of living, prices of houses, what other towns have openings, and that kind of stuff. I’m putting a lot more thought about this than I thought I would, and I’m seriously thinking about applying,” he said.

“What if I were to apply out there as well? Would that sway you more one way or another?” I asked.

“Yeah, it would. If you applied, then I would definitely see what options were out there for me,” he said. “I think I’m going to apply. I’m seriously leaning towards it. I’ll apply and see what happens.”

“If nothing comes of it, it wasn’t meant to be,” I told him. “And if you get an interview, then maybe we should seriously look into that as a possibility.”

“Yeah, I just kept thinking last night, we’re sitting here, twenty years down the road, and saying ‘Remember that time we lived in Alaska?’ What a hell of a story,” he said…

 

The Wedding.

The wedding was absolutely amazing.

Considering the ordeal I had to go through to get there, the island made up for everything. It was absolutely stunning.

If you have never been to Bald Head Island, North Carolina, go sometime. It’s quiet in October, not as many tourists, the beaches are empty, and it’s extremely peaceful.

The ceremony was held in the village chapel. As a religious ceremony, I found that the actual ceremony seemed to revolve more around the couple, as opposed to a catholic wedding, which seems to revolve more so around the actual service.

The reception was held at the Shoals Head Club, which was this fancy club on the end of the island, with a pool, and gorgeous views of the ocean. With it being 80 degrees and humid, and my friend having hired a steel drum band, I felt like I was more in Aruba than North Carolina. It was such a tropical setting, and so relaxing, that everyone had a fantastic time.

After the reception, the guests headed back to their houses to change, go for a swim, freshen up for a bit before the barbeque, or cookout, as I was told a barbeque in North Carolina is NOT hot dogs and hamburgers, but rather pig.

We then headed out for the family house where the beach party was starting, and went full-swing, well into the wee hours of the morning. Having to get up super early for the ferry in the morning, and wanting to walk the beach before leaving, I retired around 11pm. The only people left standing were the groom’s hockey buddies, who decided to return to our house at 2am and sing and play the harmonica, in a house full of sleeping people. People who also paid full price for the house, while the hockey players were just crashing on the floor/couches.

It didn’t really bother me, but there were a few people I had to deal with who I assume were rather pissed off about the whole thing, and luckily I left before I had to hear about any of that this morning. I only hope everyone cleaned up the house before they left, as it was under my name, and it was the groom’s deposit!

The wedding went off without a hitch, and the bride and groom were utterly adorable. He even asked if he could go have a celebratory cigar with the boys before they retired, as he knows how much she hates the smell.

All in all, it was a fantastic wedding, good food, great people, and a great party. Now I’m back at the airport, waiting about 5 hours to hopefully catch a flight to Boston, as my connection flight to JFK is full. Guess I’ll just have to take the bus from Boston home. Oh well. At least I’ll make it there!

 

Cranky.

I want to cry.

I foolishly agreed and even excitedly accepted buddy passes from a couple I babysit for. He is a pilot for JetBlue, and he offered up these passes to me in exchange for a weekend of babysitting for them. You see, I am going to North Carolina for a wedding for a friend of mine.

I figured $35 for the tickets was well worth the fact that they are standby, but that I was going to be leaving Thursday morning, which would ensure me all day Thursday, and Friday morning to get to where I needed to be.

Well. You see. My problem started in Portland. The 6am flight was full. So was the 1140am. So was the 329pm, but luckily, after the guy told me and another passenger that we would not make the flight, a woman backed out, and two seats miraculously opened up. I arrived at JFK around 430 this afternoon, to sit and wait until 950pm, when the last flight of the day to Raleigh left. At 830pm, I wandered over to the check in booth and inquired as to my standby status, which, that morning, was fine. I was expected to make that flight with a few seats left.

“You are not going to make this flight, miss,” the guy at the desk told me.

Now I’ve been calm and kind and rational all day, because I knew this could happen, and I had prepared for it. But now that this was the last flight out of JFK for the night, and that the morning flights were full, I was starting to panic.

“Well, what about the 835am flight tomorrow morning?” I asked him. If I waited any later, I would not make my connection in time, and thus have to rent a car, one way, which would cost me an additional $150 (that I don’t really have). Plus, depending on which flight was open, I may not make the ferry to the island. Or make it there at all, at the rate of full flights I had been dealing with.

“You won’t make that one either,” he told me.

There’s an intercom announcement, announcing a flight to Charlotte, NC that is boarding at the next gate, as we speak.

“Are you sure I will not make this flight?” I ask him. “Definitely not,” he replied.

And so I begged the woman at the counter to let me jump on the Charlotte flight, because that, at least, would get me to the right state, albeit, three hours away.

I called The Boy and asked him to check out bus schedules from Charlotte to Raleigh. 930am, which would put me in at 205, just in time to make my connection with the friends who offered me a ride to the island, because it’s still another 2.5 hours to get to the ferry terminal.

While I was en route to Charlotte, I contemplated my options. Had I don’t the right thing? Was this better? Would this work? I had no idea if there was even a bus from Charlotte to Raleigh. I had already gotten, and paid for via ‘name your price’ on Priceline, a room in Raleigh for Thursday night, as I did not think I would have this much difficulty getting down here, especially when I started at 6am. I thought about renting a car, one way, airport to airport, and I could still make use of my room. Nope, once I got to Charlotte, the only ones open were all out of one-way rentals. Then I checked the Greyhound buses. One leaves at 2am, and will arrive at 450am, at which point, the girl who I am getting a ride with will come pick me up after her bf gets out of his morning hockey practice. Then I can sleep for a few hours at her house until we leave.

Now, I don’t even know this girl, and that is unbelievably kind of her. I mean, I’ve been talking with her because I’ve been dealing with getting the housing for the wedding guests set up, and her and her bf have wanted to go in on the house since day one.

Anyways. I am currently sitting in the Charlotte Airport, waiting for a cab to pick me up at 130am, to take me to the Greyhound station so that I may catch a bus for another three hour drive.

And I even lied to my mom and told her I had arrived in Raleigh, just fine. I mean come on, it’s the middle of the night. I don’t want to worry her. . . . .

But I’m tired. And cranky. And this whole flying on standby think TOTALLY SUCKS. And I’m sitting in an airport, totally sketched out because it is empty and quiet, and I’m here, ALONE.

Part of me just wants to go home. Turn around and use my return tickets now.

I just hope I can laugh about this later. But I am really not looking forward to my return trip home on Sunday. Especially when Monday is a holiday and I HAVE to be back to work on Tuesday. . . .